


Between selfishness and self care

by Bellatrix_Winchester (Keterina_Porpentina_Albus_Everdeen)



Series: Diary of an young adult [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Diary/Journal, Feelings, Prose Poem, Realization, Soul-Searching, Turning pain into art, bleeding on paper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:35:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22574122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keterina_Porpentina_Albus_Everdeen/pseuds/Bellatrix_Winchester
Summary: Have you ever felt selfish for wanting something?Have you ever tried to focus on yourself and found that the world is looking at you like you're the monster?
Series: Diary of an young adult [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1624216
Kudos: 2





	Between selfishness and self care

* * *

I have thoughts that need catering.

Wounds that need healing.

The people close to me know what I've been through and everyone suggests the same thing.

"Take care of yourself first."

And when you actually engage in the process of healing, they give you a look like what you've done is unforgivable.

They say that it's okay to take a step back

It's alright if you don't want to do it all.

You think that they want the best for you but no

Maybe, they say that to you to make themselves feel better.

I know you know exactly what I'm talking about.

* * *

I say I practice self care but all I do is watch one more video on YouTube.

I say I will finish my novel but I find myself thinking about my insecurities.

The characters in the TV shows start to mock us with their lovers

It's funny how they cannot choose who to be with, while all I do is crave proximity

I have nobody to hold

Nobody to cry with

Yet I cry with everyone

I'm the shoulder, never the heart of someone

Always second best

Always the second choice

I know you know what I mean.

And if you don't, honey, I'm happy for you.

* * *

"Choose yourself once", they said.

They didn't mean it

When you choose yourself, they pout

They want your energy

For you to give your all

They complain that you're changing when they suggested you to do so.

I say, "leave me alone, I'm lonely".

You know what I mean.

And if you don't, you're the one I'm talking about.


End file.
